Seven Things Every Woman Should Accomplish in Her 20s

I saw this article on Thought Catalog this morning and while I agree with most of the suggestions, I’m not completely on board with all of them.

So I made my own list.

First, the things that I agree with:

1. Travel. Maybe not alone, but traveling is definitely on my list. I spent a semester of college in Europe, and I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. I went back to Scotland a few years later and had a bit of time to travel to myself. I spent the a few days in Edinburgh wandering around and while it was a bit scary, it was liberating at the same time.

2. Have a night where you get too crazy. In your 20s, your metabolism (and tolerance for certain beverages) is probably at its peak. Enjoy it. Be a bit irresponsible. Make memories. Dance your heart out.

3. Disregard your parent’s advice on something. Now, my take isn’t the same as it is in the article. You see, I never really had a ‘rebellious’ time. When I went to college, I decided I wanted my belly button pierced. I had just turned 18 (ok, so not technically 20s yet but whatever), and asked Mommy Janks what she thought. She immediately responded that she didn’t like the idea. I did it anyway. Later on, I heard her recounting the story to her friends as if I didn’t do it without her permission. Sigh.

4. Ask for a raise. In a prior position, I was a part of a pretty intimidating review process. But it prepared me for life. I had to defend my decisions, express my interest in the company, and explain why I deserved a raise. If you weren’t prepared, you were like a fish in a barrel. As I said, it’s made me a better person (and also made me get everything in writing.)

Now, for a few not on the list:

5. Live in a city. While State College is big enough to merit its own zip code, it’s not necessarily a city. I’m a suburban girl and while I had a few friends who lived in the heart of a city, I have never done it. The JA was living in a part of Baltimore when we started dating and we remember that time with love and longing. It’s great feeling like a bigger part of something…like, maybe a Super Bowl win?

6. Take a trip with a close friend or your significant other (just the two of you). If you haven’t done that yet, do it now. You learn about someone when you’re sharing a car, plane, or room with someone for a few days.

7. Invest. Whether it’s buying a piece of clothing that you know you’ll wear for years to come or putting money in a retirement fund, invest in your future. I’ve always been a saver (sometimes to a fault), and I understand how hard it is to invest in big-ticket items. Yet, I bought my first decent suit jacket in my 20s and I wear it all.the.time. Initial cost? My jaw hit the floor. Cost per wear? At this point, it’s pennies. Completely worth it.

There are a few more that I could list but then it wouldn’t be seven things, so I’m going to turn it over to you. Anything that you would add/change to this list?

Life Lessons I’ve Learned From My Dog

I wanted to write this post for a long time now. I thought it could wait until a big milestone (our 1 year six-month mark of owning a dog) but I saw this photo of a dog that survived along with its owners in a storm shelter during the tornado in Oklahoma. This post may seem trivial in comparison, but loss comes in many shapes and sizes; please keep everyone in your thoughts and prayers.

Photo via Instagram from @todayshow, who reposted from @weatherchannel producer @mikejenkinstv

In the past, I used to scoff at those bumper stickers that read, “Who rescued who?” but since we adopted Watson, I’ve changed my tune.

Having a dog is one of the best decisions the JA and I have made (besides marrying each other, of course). Here are a few of the lessons he’s taught us:

1. Be a good companion. I.hate.being.alone. Coming home to an empty house led to me sitting at the computer for hours on end, piddling around, working, and counting the seconds until the JA came through the door. When he did, either I was 1. super happy to see him and wanting to talk all about my day, or 2. upset that he was late and why can’t we make more time for each other?!

Not so good.

Watson has given me a reason to come home on time and like it. He gets me out of the house, and there’s no happier face than a dog who gets to be outside on a nice day.

2. Test the limits (but know when to give up). Between shredding the laundry room door, sneak pees, and eating my camera, these past few months have had more than enough “BOY, you are lucky you’re so cute” challenges. We like to say that he’s as high maintenance as we are – when he’s unhappy, he shows it. We’re getting better at learning his cues, but also controlling him more when necessary.

3. Shake it off. Sure, I cried a bit when I found my good camera cracked and in pieces around the living room. But the majority of the time, we have to accept the fact that what’s done is done. Picking up the pieces and moving on (while seeing Watson slink around because he knows we’re upset with him) is a trait that dog ownership has certainly strengthened.

How can you be so upset? Look at this face!

4. Love like there’s no tomorrow. Now, I’m not knocking the JA here, but when we’ve both had a bad day, it’s sometimes hard to get out of that funk. Doggie don’t care. As long as we walk through that door, he will greet us with a wagging tail and a ‘let’s go play!’ look in his eyes. I never had a pet growing up, so Watson’s my first try at this whole thing. This little guy has brought so much joy into our lives that I can’t wait to watch him grow and adapt with us as an important part of our family.

5. Everyone needs a good cuddle now and again. There’s nothing like a doggie cuddle. Or the ‘paws up because this is the best belly rub’ look. Or finding the secret spot that unleashes the highly sought out foot jiggle. Cuddling never hurt anyone, and most of the time it’s appreciated.

6. Bring snacks and always share. Watson is always down for a snack. His preferences are animal crackers and pretzels with peanut butter coming in a close third. Boy is like his momma – loves the carbs and gravitates toward them like a bee to honey.

What life lessons have you learned from a pet?

Update: This video appeared this morning that show a woman who recovering her dog from the rubble in Oklahoma. I totally teared up, but wanted to pass it along. You’ve been warned.

And On The Seventh Day…

…we rested.

After finishing our duties as senior prom chaperones at 1a, sitting on a closed beltway and not getting home ’til 2a, waking up at 9a to do some cleaning before our landlord showed our house, and running some errands (hello, people we need food!), we crashed. And when I say crash, I mean it. We all (Watson included) napped from 3p – 5p. It was magnificent.

selfie in the elevator

Needless to say, we didn’t get a lot accomplished today. We’ve got another crazy week (our dinner schedule has dashes next to Tues, Weds, Thurs, and Fri meaning either one of us is on their own or we’ve got a dinner event planned), so it’s nice to sit back and chill. Especially when it means I come home from running errands and can justifiably spend the rest of the day in “comfy clothes.”

The Waiting Game

WHEW! Is it just me or has this month flown by?

I woke up this morning with good intentions to write, and write I did. I simply wasn’t happy with any of it so I scrapped everything, waiting for inspiration to strike.

as always, click for source

I went to work and waited some more.

I came home, made dinner, and continued to wait.

And the we sat down and started scheduling out our closing on the house, painting, and move. (Note to self: next time, try not to do all this during wedding season and the busiest week of our summer.)

I became a bit overwhelmed.

And that’s where we are. The rest of this evening is allotted for a meeting with our mortgage guy and quality time with this guy. (Guess which one I’m looking forward to more?)

Check back in tomorrow, I already have that post started and it’s a fun one!

May I Rise to the Challenge

Get it? May? As in the month and an expression of permission? Ha, I crack myself up.

Ok, to the point. I’ve decided to challenge myself and participate in National Blog Post Month (NaBloPoMo). The goal is to blog every day. With so much happening this month, I’m likely to fall off the blog wagon and I don’t want to. I want to engage, grow, and virtually hang out with y’all. So I’m holding myself accountable.

Laying in bed this morning, I took a moment to be aware of my surroundings: the softness of the sheets, the support of the mattress, and the chirping of birds outside the open window. My morning’s tend to go one of two ways: either I’m dragging myself out of bed, already yearning for a cup of coffee, or I’m awake, energized, and ready to begin the day.

Our days have been crazy again this week. The school is in the midst of graduation/end of school activities, we’re trying to buy a house, and then there are the social events that seem to crop up as the weather gets nicer. While it’s exciting, sometimes it becomes overwhelming to look at our schedules for the upcoming month and a half. Therefore, it was a glorious few seconds to hear the birds chirp. Chirping birds tell me that the rain has stopped. They remind me of the new life that comes with the spring.

click image for source

How are you challenging yourself this month? What or who serves as a comfort to you?

Exception to the Rule

I don’t normally blog on the weekends, but when I do, it’s something that I can’t wait until Monday to share. This is one of those times.

Last night, I read this post from Katharine at From A to Pink. Katharine and I know each other from Book Club. She is a wonderfully strong, determined, talented woman with an infectious laugh and a positive outlook on life. She was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis later than most patients, and has done a fantastic job chronicling the struggles and triumphs of having a chronic disease on her blog.

Her post got to me. Not only because I know her on a personal level, but because it reminded me about the value of life – something we all need now and again.

Many people think it’s easy to blog. To sit behind a computer and type out your feelings. Yet, in reality, it can be a very scary thing. Pouring your deepest emotions out to the world – most of the time to be lifted up and supported, but also opening yourself up to others who sit, read, and judge. Every word is carefully chosen in order to not only make your point, but make it clear the way you intend it to be taken. Writing emotional posts drains you in a way you can’t even imagine, and hitting the publish button is scary.

I wanted to take the time to commend Katharine on her thought-provoking, intense, emotional, heart-wrenching post. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to write (or publish), but writing these type of posts helps enlighten those who don’t know, support and encourage those who do, and affect everyone who reads them in some way or another. Thank you.

May is Cystic Fibrosis Awareness month. For more information, I encourage you to visit www.cff.org.

YOLO?

Note: For all those uncool cats like me out there, YOLO stands for You Only Live Once.

When one works at a school, it is difficult not to become invested in the students’ lives. You want them to succeed, flourish, and make good decisions. When something happens to them, it affects you – whether you’re a teacher (like my husband) or staff member (like me).

Mid-morning yesterday, I received a call from one of our seniors. Very odd, considering any late calls should be directed through the main office. He started the conversation by saying, “[student with the same first name as my husband] got into an accident on [insert road name here], but everyone’s okay. We just didn’t know who to call to let someone know we’re going to be late.”

My stomach dropped and my life flashed before my eyes as my mind immediately went to the JA. What was he doing off campus? And driving toward our home? Why wasn’t he calling me himself?

I then proceeded to ask a flurry of questions – are you sure everyone’s okay? Are you on the side of the road? Have the police been called? What are the names of others in the car? The last question cleared up the confusion, letting me know that it was a student – not my husband – driving the car. (The student on the phone and I had a good laugh about that one, as I quickly breathed a sigh of relief.)

It’s that time of year when our seniors become more brazen – most have chosen which college they will attend in the fall, senior prom is just around the corner, then after that it’s a flurry of graduation activities, graduation itself, and Beach Week. (Seniors here in Maryland invade Ocean City the week after graduation to “celebrate.”)

Yesterday was a heart-stopping reminder that we are not invincible. Teenagers tend to think they are, and every once in a while, us adults do too.

Be careful out there!

Inner Peace

click image for source

This week is shaping up to be a crazy one. Instead of taking a lot time this morning to write to all of you, I played with my pup a bit more, chatted with my husband, and did some reading. Sorry, I’m not sorry. Some days, heck, some weeks, you have to pace yourself. We’re getting to the time where we have a school event almost every week. Trying to fit in ‘us’ time, ‘me’ time and ‘fun’ time gets to be challenging.

C’mon, inner peace. I don’t have all day.

Family Ties

Yesterday morning, the JA’s maternal grandfather passed away. A sad occasion, but one that we knew was on the horizon. He had been in and out of the hospital since January, and dementia set in a few weeks ago. We spent a day with him over our Spring Break, and we are as at peace with this as can be expected.

His passing led us to have an interesting conversation. My family is small, and not extremely close. Daddy Janks is an only child. Mommy Janks is the only girl and the youngest of four children. (One is deceased.) She is getting closer with her oldest brother, but even so, we are not as tight-knit as other families.

my extended family (minus one uncle, three cousins, two cousins-in-law and one nephew)

The JA, on the other hand, grew up in a family that gathered for Sunday dinner at his grandmother’s house every week. No exceptions, you were there. His best memories are those that include his cousins. As they’ve grown older, the cousins have drifted apart, but not far. His extended family on his mom’s side spends a week at the beach together, and his father’s side gather for birthdays, Mother’s/Father’s Day. We are with both sides on Christmas, in addition to my family, so we’re often running around seeing everyone.

I’m still getting the hang of how a big family operates, and he’s learning how my family does things. We have differing opinions on multiple aspects of family dynamic, frequency of visits, and relationships in general. I’m loving that there are so many ‘young’ cousins at his family gatherings, but that my family is much less (for lack of a better word) overwhelming. One day, hopefully we’ll fully integrate and simply have everyone together instead of traveling from place to place!

Do you have a big or small family?

All photos in this post taken by Helen Helen Macaulay, Associate Photographer with Maria Linz Photography.

Heartache and Healing

Yesterday, our school community found out that we lost a teacher to breast cancer. This woman’s husband passed away last year, and we had all known that it was only a matter of time until her cancer took her from us.

It’s been a rough few years – in early 2011, one of our administrators passed away from breast cancer, our president passed away in December 2011, and now this. Losing these important members of our community so close together has been difficult not only for the faculty and staff, but possibly even more so for the students and young alumni. We need to come together as a community, stay strong, and take care of each other in this time of grief.

Speaking of taking care of each other, I received a Facebook message last week from a young alumnus. As part of his Lenten promise, he decided that each day he would write a note to someone who had affected his life in a positive way. Such a great idea!

The note was short and sweet, but something that I’ll save for a long time. It’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and problems, and lose sight of those around us.

To hear words of encouragement, success, and thanks from someone who you speak with on an infrequent basis is a gift not to be overlooked. In our day and age, thank yous have become a bit of a rarity. Back in my day (you know, when Facebook was just a college thing), I was taught that thanks you notes were a requirement after any present was given. When you really look at it, our relationships are some of the best gifts we possess.

I am very fortunate to have been on the receiving end of such a wonderful, appreciative, unexpected note. We can an all take a cue from him; acknowledging those surrounding us who make our lives better. You never know when one will be taken from you.