For the past few days, I’ve had an overwhelming sense that I was slacking off.
Last week, with no power, I was rushed to put a float together for my school’s entry in a 4th of July parade. I arrived at work with the mindset of ‘just get it done.’ When the JA mentioned some improvements he wanted to make, he encouraged me to step back and take a look at the big picture. Although the body has mainly stayed the same for the past few years, this float was representing the school and it’s members for all to see. I should have been proud of it. Instead, it served as an example of how I was in ‘auto mode.’
I was doing things halfway because I wanted to get stuff off my plate. It led to a bit of a self-doubt – is this the job that I want to be doing, what else could I do that would make me happier, how would I go about taking steps to achieve that goal?
Yesterday, I went to work and had a goal of getting a lot done (and doing it well). To quote poet Robert Burns, “The best laid schemes of mice and men / Often go awry.” I got sidetracked with meetings, emails and all sorts of other stuff. I came home frustrated. I did more work for a freelance client. I read. I wrote this post. I almost finished thank you notes. I went to the gym. I came home and did more work.
Now, that’s not really slacking from a productivity standpoint, but how can I make my minutes count more? Surely eliminating things like blogging, reading, and relaxing in front of the TV could go. But would that really improve my quality of life? I don’t think so. I like doing all those things.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that having these type of introspective days spawns re-dedication (at least for me). While I realize there are times that I can’t be all things to all people (a theme that comes up fairly frequently on this blog), putting forth a best effort should rarely be compromised. All I could think was – it’s time to go big or go home.
For the rest of this month, I’m going to aim at waking up each morning and striving to live that saying. Do the best you can. If you can’t, then don’t. So if I’m gone from the blog for a few days, it’s not that I don’t appreciate y’all reading (no matter how you found the blog). It’s because I don’t feel that I have something worthy enough to say. And I’m okay with that.