My Husband Hates My Smartphone (and Secretly I Do, Too)

Hi, my name is Jess and I have a secret. I’ve never told you this, but there’s a third entity in the JA’s and my marriage…

My smartphone.

You may have seen this article titled, “Why I’m Getting a Divorce in 2014.” (Spoiler alert: it’s about his attachment to his phone.) For some people, they can easily ‘divorce’ their phones. However, being in the field of public relations lends itself to a certain marriage with one’s phone. You never know when a reporter’s going to call or respond to you with a last-minute photo request, when your client’s calling you with another idea, or when you get word that, yes, that placement you’ve worked so hard to secure will air/print at its desired time. Add in that I’m a blogger, and that relationship grows even stronger.

But for me, and many others, our relationship with our phones goes beyond that. My phone never leaves my side. When I get bored, it serves as a comfort. It’s a constant companion, waiting to entertain me. And my husband hates it.

Why? Well, he’s too much of a gentleman to tell me outright, but here’s why he hates my phone (and I do, too):

phone secret3

1. My phone slows me down. It’s true. I get sucked into the social media vortex and can spend hours doing nothing by reviewing Facebook, crafting Instagram posts, working on the blog, or cleaning out my inbox. He’s taken to giving me a 5-10 minute buffer for when he says we need to leave and when we ACTUALLY need to leave the house.

2. My phone is similar to Pavlov’s bell. When it pings, dings, rings, or even lights up, I go to it – no questions asked. It could be a bad comment on our company’s page that needs to be handled! It could be a tweet that needs to be immediately retweeted! It could be someone liking my cute puppy photo! (Ok, so I don’t have Facebook notifications for my personal page but if I did…we’d be in even more trouble than we are now.)

3. My phone is a third wheel. Sitting on the couch watching a movie used to be relaxing. Now, it can be a time for multi-tasking. So not romantic.

4. Really? Another picture? This is one of his biggest pet peeves – especially when it comes to food. He just wants to enjoy the moment or savor the first bite and I want to showcase it in its best light before diving in. You never know when you might want to recreate that recipe at home…right?

5. Warning: the contents of this phone may cause user to self-destruct. Some days, social media lifts me up and makes me feel like a rockstar. Other days, it contributes to my crankiness and discontent. Either way, it shouldn’t have that much power. I shouldn’t let it. But it does, and I do.

Admitting you have a problem is the first step. What am I going to do now? Well, I’ve started purposefully leaving my phone places. If I know we’ll be watching a movie in the den, I’ll turn it on silent and leave it in the kitchen. If we’re going out to dinner, I leave it in my purse (zipped in so I can’t see the notifications as they pop up.) I’m putting it on vibrate more often and trying to keep its use to a minimum when we’re together. These are baby steps, but they’re making a difference. I find myself more focused on him and others, bringing more quality content to our conversations, and enjoying the little things more and more.

Smartphones – love them or hate them?

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7 thoughts on “My Husband Hates My Smartphone (and Secretly I Do, Too)

  1. It’s hard! My boyfriend yells at me sometimes when we are watching TV or a movie because I’m checking my phone or what not. I’m trying to disconnect from it more!

  2. You are so not alone. I have made it a rule we can’t have phones at the table, but its not only phones. We both have ipads, so watching tv/ movie doesn’t mean we just watch, we have a second screen. I am trying more and more to stop doing both, but I am starting slowly. It one night a week. Challenging but its like my only time do free willing it do it with no kids around. Good luck!

  3. You hit the nail on the head and summarized it perfectly! I have a love and hate relationship with my phone. I want to detach myself but in our work it becomes a tool to connect and then there is the dreaded FOMO feeling. Oh boy…

  4. I also have this problem! My job also requires me to check emails like every 5 minutes so I’m always on there. I actually have mine permanently on silent and have done so for months now. It helps me feel less annoying because I can’t hear the notifications. But I do freak out if it’s not in the same room as me 🙂

  5. Pingback: Q & A | Just Call Me Janks

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